As most of you know, my Mom passed away on March 30th. For those who were unable to attend the memorial services, here is the the eulogy my sister and I delivered:

Good evening.
On behalf of my family, I would like to thank you all for coming out on a Wednesday night to celebrate the life our mother, Dorothy Schupp.

If you read her obituary in the newspaper, you would have learned that she was born on November 1, 1940, the first child of Dorothy Mae and William Conklin. She was the oldest of twin girls, and had two younger sisters. Mom was 20 minutes older than her twin, our Aunt Pat who is here tonight – and Aunt Pat would never let her forget it. You would have learned that she was the wife of Albert, the mother to Diana, Al, and Sherry, and the grandmother of Andy, John, Michael and Rebecca. That’s what would have been published about her, but she was so much more than that. Since some of you didn’t know Mom, we thought we would take this opportunity to tell you a little bit about her.

Mom was a gifted baker. She made pies and cakes that could have been sold in any bakery in the country. When we were growing up, she would take that horrid fruit cocktail from a can that no one ever buys and made the tastiest, moistest cookies I have ever had. She also made what we called “snowman” cakes, which were basically two layers of cake laid on a flat surface, with vanilla icing and coconut. She made the eyes, ears, mouth, and buttons of the snowman out of the worst hard candies ever produced, but they were good when they were part of a cake she made. There were many mornings when we would wake up or, after we left home, walk into our parents’ house, to the smell of freshly baked bread, smothered with butter. Not the healthiest thing by today’s standards, but it is the best bread I’ve ever had.
As great of a baker she was, her cooking was average at best. She never met a drop of moisture in a piece of meat she liked. She made us eat liver, her idea of chili was ground beef, ketchup, and beans in a big pot boiled for hours, and her pork chops could have been used to roof a house.

What we wouldn’t do for one of those fruit cocktail cookies, a piece of that snowman cake, or even one of those roofing shingle pork chops right now.
Although she was unable to finish her education, Mom was a good writer, and it’s a true loss that she was unable to foster that gift. When my brother and I cleaned out her house, we found some of her writings, including a poem she wrote to her granddaughter Rebecca, which was quite good. Our aunts have told us she would write as a child and as a young person, and she said she liked to write, but sadly it wasn’t something we saw her do or we were able to enjoy.

She had tremendous common sense. Although she lived most of her life in a very small town that most would refer to as “upstate and rural”, there was no one who could get over on her. During the ‘80’s when we had exceptionally hard financial problems, Mom was able to stretch our budget to pay our bills, keep us fed & keep our home. She had a wonderful sense of humor, and could be quite bawdy at times. Some of the photos we have displayed here tonight are indicative of her sense of humor, although we chose to edit some of the more bawdy ones.

She was tremendously compassionate. Although she and Dad never had much money at their disposal, she had a charitable nature and was always willing to help anyone down on their luck. Her philosophy was that no matter her situation, she would always find a way to help somebody in need. Mom was always able to find an extra can of something, or an article of clothing she could give to someone who needed it.

Mom had many people in her life she cared for, but she had two great loves. The first was our father Al. We were told how they met. In the early 60s, Dad was a bartender at a place called Flanagan’s Bar and Grill in Suffern. It was a Saturday night, and the bar was very crowded. He looked up, the crowd parted and he saw this woman, the most beautiful he had ever seen in real life except for Betty Grable. As the story goes, she didn’t notice him at first, but he got the attention of his co-bartender and pointed that lovely lady out. “You see that woman” he said, pointing to Mom, “I’m gonna marry her”. His assistant bartender laughed at him, but eventually that lady made her way to Dad to ask for a drink. Mom tells how Dad was so charming (and if you knew my Dad, you knew he could charm the rattle of a rattlesnake), he got her to talk to him. They were together from 1965 until he passed away in 2006.

Times weren’t always easy for our parents, but they somehow made it through – and he adored her. You could see it when he looked at her. In fact, the last person he saw before he closed his eyes for the last time was her. He worried about her and made us promise to take care of her when he was gone, and we hope we made him proud.

The second great love of her life came to her in 1997 when her granddaughter Rebecca was born. Once Mom found out that Amy was pregnant, she couldn’t wait for her grandchild to arrive. She immediately began buying things for the new baby, and couldn’t help but tell everyone she knew – she even told strangers on grocery lines that her daughter-in-law was expecting a child, and Mom was quite shy. When the big day came, she saw who we all referred to as “Baby” because we didn’t know her name yet, and she fell in love. She immediately began calling her “My Queen” and that’s how she referred to her for the rest of her life. She spent as much time as possible with Rebecca and cherished those times, some of the happiest times she ever spent.

Rebecca, you were so fortunate to have the grandmother you had. She was so proud of you, and would tell everyone who would listen, and some who wouldn’t, how smart, talented, funny, and beautiful you are, even when she became sick. She’s not with you physically, but she will always be with you and will always be proud of you.

For all of the things Mom was, I think she wasn’t sure of what her legacy would be, or if anyone would remember her. For a lady with so much talent and so much love that surrounded her, I sense she wasn’t so sure of her place in the world. I am here to tell you that I, and my sister Sherry and my sister Diana are a product of who she was. Flaws she had, but so do all us of. What I will remember when I think about my Mother are the fun times – the great baking, the terrible cooking, the compassion, the incredible love she had for her family. I think she worried about being forgotten. Mom, you will never be forgotten. You have touched us all: me, Sherry, Diana & her husband Jay, Gary, Amy, Aunt Pat and most importantly, Rebecca.

At one time we had quite a large family –lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was to the point in our hometown that you couldn’t do anything bad because someone would see you do it. It was also good because, if you got in trouble, there was someone to whom you could go and get help from. When we were kids, there came a time that this very large family began passing away, and Mom was fond of quoting – and I use the term “quoting” loosely – John 14 which reads, in part. . .”Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God also believe in me. In my Father’s house there are many mansions, if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you”. As Mom’s dementia advanced, there were times she couldn’t remember that Dad had passed away, but she would say, without prompt – “Al isn’t here because he’s building me a house. As soon as it’s done, he’s going to come get me.” Mom, Dad’s work is done and he has built you the mansion you both deserve. Go live there and know that you will never be forgotten. Rest in peace and we love you, Mom.

Since 2011 really sucked...

Happy New Years everyone. Here's hoping 2012 is an excellent year for you.

- The Dograt