You know, I had though up some really funny stuff about the election, but forgot about all of it. I do, however, have some free advice for President-elect Obama, his cabinet, & the Democratic majority:
DON’T FUCK IT UP!
Obviously only time will tell if Obamas’ ideas & policies will turn the mess created by Dumm-ya and his gang of war profiteers around. It’s obviously not going to happen overnight either, but you can guarantee that the Republicans (meaning most of those in the media and Congress) will be raising hell by January 21st (January 20th is inauguration day). I’m wondering when a Whitewater-esque investigation will start. You know the right-wingers will try something.
Quite a few of these people are already screaming about how the “Communists” and “Socialists” have won the election. What do these morons think is going to happen, the hammer and sickle will be flying over the White House on January 21? Here’s what I have to say about that: Go the fuck to Canada then, eh? If you don’t like who’s in charge then feel free to take yourself somewhere else. Although, as far as presidents go, you know what other president was accused of being a Socialist by his detractors? Franklin Delano Roosevelt
I read an article recently where gun sales increased 15% or more in October. The reason? Because Obama is in favor of certain gun control laws. I don’t know what laws they are and I don’t particularly give a crap either, but do these NRA/anti-gun law/”I need an automatic weapon to go hunt deer” people think that on January 21 the ATF is going to knock on their door to take their guns? Unfortunately they do. Freaking relax Elmer, any gun control law Obama may support will take a while to pass so you can still have your automatic weapons to go shoot Bambi or whatever armed furry animal you need the firepower to kill. Just don’t spoil the meat.
Oh, and as an FYI…I’m not really a believer in these anti-gun laws because they address the wrong problem. These laws mostly affect those who actually buy and use their guns legally – they don’t stop those weapons that are sold/purchased/used illegally. Like Chris Rock says…Make the guns legal, just charge $5000 per bullet and you’ll see illegal guns and murder rates go way down. He just says it funnier than I do.
John McCain
I almost felt sorry for McCain towards the end of the campaign. This is a man who has spent the better part of the last 40 or so years serving his country either in the military or in the senate, and he gets spanked in the election. I can’t bring myself to feel totally sorry for him because he brought his defeat on himself.
First of all, he’s a moderate Republican who had to pretend that he was conservative. Wrong play there. He should’ve stuck with what he does best.
Second…he was a victim of dirty ads about his health, among other things, by the Bush campaign (led by slime master Karl Rove) back in 2000 ultimately costing him the nomination. Then when the Bush campaign was sliming John Kerry in 2004, McCain stood up and spoke out against those ads. This year, he used them against Obama constantly causing voters such as myself to use it against him.
And just to be fair, I know Obama and the Democrats played dirty too, it just seemed to me that their ads weren’t as nasty.
McCain’s third and most costly mistake was naming Sarah Palin as his running mate. Prior to her nomination, NO ONE outside Alaska and maybe a few Republicans had ever heard of her. She showed absolutely no knowledge of national politics, and immediately started attacking Obama as if he had stolen money from her. I especially like her asking who Obama really was as if we knew nothing about him (He had only been campaigning for over a year at that point). There was also the fact that she knew nothing about how the VP works in the Congress/Senate. Then again I don’t know either, but it’s not my job.
The topper of all this was when she was duped into taking a phone call by 2 radio disc jockeys pretending to be the President of France. She NEVER FIGURED OUT IT WAS A PRANK!!! These guys were using a fake French accent that made them sound worse than Pepe fucking LePew and they had to tell her it was a prank. Un-fucking-believable. Now I’ve been reading in the news than Republicans are ALREADY touting her as a possible presidential nominee in 2012. It ‘s only been 5 days since the election…give it a fucking break already!
In The News
Researchers have found that when mice fart, their blood pressure lowers, leading them to believe that the same could happen for humans. Something the average 15-year old could tell them. Plus someone got paid to figure this shit out.
A 19-year old Englishman has had his name legally changed from George Garret to Captain Fantastic Faster Then Superman Spider-Man Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined because he wanted to be unique. I’m guessing that he’s not only never had sex before, but won’t be in the near future either
Stupid Customer Conversations
I had this conversation recently:
Customer: “I don’t have insurance with you anymore because I cancelled it in May after I gave my car to my son. He has his own insurance and just got into an accident today (November 7). What do I do?”
Me: “You would need to contact his insurance ma’am. The vehicle is not going to be covered by us.”
Customer: But he doesn’t have collision and we still owe money on the car.”
Me: “I’m very sorry but our coverage of your car ended when you cancelled your policy in May. As far as still owing money on the car, you would need to contact the finance company. I’m really sorry but there’s nothing we can do for you.”
Customer: “So you’re not going to help us?”
Me: (BIG inward groan) Ma’am, I’m not even really sure why you called us.”
This ends the entertainment portion of your day. Get back to work.
